Developmental milestones: Age 3

Knowing what to expect as your child grows can reassure you that your child is on track with his peers or alert you to potential concerns. Below are some milestones to watch for during the preschool years.

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By Joyce Destefanis, M.A., Nancy Firchow, M.L.S.

Since birth, you've watched your child grow and develop. You've noted his height and weight, when he crawled, stood, and walked, even when he spoke his first words — and perhaps compared all of these milestones of his infant and toddler years to the "norms." The preschool and early school years are also full of changes. From three to five your child's motor skills, language, thinking, and social development change dramatically.

Knowing what to expect as your child grows can reassure you that your child is on track with his peers or alert you to potential concerns. Below are some milestones to watch for during the preschool years.

Milestones: 3-Year-Olds

Motor Development: Gross Motor Skills

• walks with an agile, almost adult style
• runs around obstacles
• catches large balls and throws overhead
• climbs ladders; uses slide independently
• rides a tricycle
• alternates feet when climbing stairs

Motor Development: Fine Motor Skills

• assembles simple puzzles
• manipulates clay; finger paints
• copies simple shapes, such as a cross or circle
• stacks blocks up to nine high

Language and Thinking Development

• understands most of what is said and 75 percent of speech is understandable
• speaks in complete sentences of three to five words
• matches pictures to objects
• learns by doing and through the senses
• understands concepts of "now," "soon," and "later"
• begins to recognize cause-and-effect relationships

Social and Emotional Development

• follows simple directions; enjoys helping with household tasks
• begins to recognize own limits — asks for help
• likes to play alone, but near other children
• does not cooperate or share well
• able to make choices between two things
• begins to notice other people's moods and feelings

Tips for Parenting 3-Year-Olds

No longer a toddler, your 3-year-old takes in knowledge about himself and the world around him.

• Transitions are difficult at this age. Provide warning of changes so your child has time to shift gears: "We're leaving in 10 minutes."
• Rituals are important. Household routines and schedules give your 3-year-old a sense of security.
• Point out colors and numbers in the course of everyday conversation: "You're wearing your blue shirt" or "We made six cupcakes."
• Encourage independent activity to build self-reliance.
• Provide lots of sensory experiences for learning and developing coordination — sand, mud, finger paints, puzzles.

Tony DiTerlizzi and Encouraging Young Artists

I believe there is an artist in all of us, some very tiny and others huge. Many times we just can't figure out what our medium is. Childhood is perfect time to cultivate and explore this part of each human.Tony DiTerlizzi, illustrator and the co-author of The Spiderwick Chronicles took some time to talk to me about his own path to becoming an artist and best selling author.

His words about what role the adults in his life played in his journey really stuck with me as I have a little boy at home drawing monsters and aliens. So this weekend found us all around a table just drawing together. Jack picked up Ed Emberley's Halloween Book at the school library. We took turns drawing skeletons and scary stuff while Lucy drew self-portraits.

Here are some ideas if you are encouraging young artists in your house:

1. Use the real stuff. Wander the aisles in a real art store. They usually have a kid version of a little bit higher quality materials which are often times easier to work with and produce a different kind of art. It is more expensive but you don't have to buy a lot. It makes art feel special too.
If this feels like a stretch for your finances, delve into the world of creating recyled art, it's endless and great for the earth.

2. Practice, practice, practice. Have art materials everywhere. Keep journals and pencils/pastels in a kit for the car or your purse. Tiny balls of wax or clay in a take along bag or even a travel watercolor kit. Art can be done anywhere and at times when you need little hands to be busy.
Turn off the televsion, throw on some music, and leave materials on a table. Don't say a word. Let kids find and create on their own.

3. Have your own art show. Collect the pieces of work your child has created and hold your own art show. Send out invitations; create a gallery feel in your house displaying their art. Serve lemonade and cookies. Invite adults and children to share in the work and artist your child is.

4. Claim the artist. Refer to your child as an artist. Ask questions about why and how they create what they do. Help create space and environments in which they can work. You don't have to evaluate their art, try encouraging their effort and intent. Like everything else in childhood, it is about process and is always better when it is a form of play.

TIME-OUT Discipline Technique

Recommended for children 18 months - 6 years.

I remember clearly the day my 2-year-old came home from day care, looked me sweetly in the eye, and slapped me across the face. Up until this point, we had mostly used natural consequences for unwanted behaviors (i.e. if you throw your cookie on the floor, no more cookie). When we realized that “No Hitting!” wasn’t cutting it, we explored the time-out technique. Time-out consists of immediately isolating a child in a boring place for a few minutes following unwanted behavior. The best results come when this technique is performed the same way every time and is used consistently every time your child displays an unacceptable behavior.

1. PREPARE:

• Decide which 2 or 3 behaviors will cause you to put your child in time-out and explain this to your child (ex. hitting, biting, throwing food).
• Choose a Time-Out spot: this could be a step, a chair, a corner or even a mat if you're out of the house. The place should be distraction-free and safe from harm. The goal is to give your child time to think about what happened, regroup and calm down.

2. IMPLEMENT:

• Give your child one warning: “If you throw your food again, you will go into time-out”. Your voice can be firm, but should remain calm, not angry.
• If it happens again, put her in time-out right away. Tell her what she did wrong in as few words and with as little emotion as possible. If your child will not go to the spot on her own, pick her up and carry her there. Do not give your child attention when she is in time-out.
• Set a time limit: A good rule of thumb is 1 minute of time-out for every year of your child's age. Some parents use a timer. If your child gets up, calmly put her back in time-out and restart the timer.
• Once your child has completed time-out, sit down so you’re on the same level and explain one more time why you put her there. Ask for an apology, and end time-out with a hug.
• Immediately redirect your child to an acceptable activity when timeout is over.

3. REFLECT/PREVENT:
While your child is in timeout, or later when your child is sleeping, take the time to review the sequence of events leading to timeout and determine if there is something you can do to prevent its recurrence.

• Was your child overtired or hungry?
• Were you asking too much of your child? Use Tumblon or ask your Pediatrician to understand what is developmentally appropriate for your child. Are you asking them to do something that is simply beyond their ability? Is a particular toy or activity frustrating them because it is too advanced?
• Consistency is very important: Once you make a rule or promise, stick to it. Try your best to communicate these rules to all caregivers.
• Don’t forget to talk to your child! Consistently using timeout will help to modify behavior, but it is not a replacement for talking to them about how they are feeling, especially as they get older.
• Learn from mistakes – if you are unhappy about the way you are handling your child’s bad behavior, give yourself a moment to calm down, apologize to your child and explain how you will do things differently next time.

4. REWARD GOOD BEHAVIOR!
This is easy to forget but is the most important thing of all. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate reward, your praise and physical affection goes a long way. Try to be specific. Instead of saying “Thanks for being such a good boy today”, say something like “Thank you for coming right when I called you. Great listening!”

Author: Adrienne L. Davis, M.D.

Building Parent-Teacher Partnerships

The day-to-day reality of many families is different today than a generation ago. Family members spend far less time together and adults often face an on-going struggle to balance the demands of their families and their jobs. While these pressures can cause parents to participate less in their children’s lives, there remains a great need for them to be involved in their children’s education.

Recent studies show that when families are involved in their children’s education in positive ways, the children achieve higher grades and test scores, have better attendance at school, complete more homework, and demonstrate more positive attitudes and behavior. Reports also indicate that families who receive frequent and positive messages from teachers tend to become more involved in their children’s education than do parents who do not receive this kind of communication.

One way to foster children’s learning is through joint efforts involving both families and schools, where parents and teachers share responsibility for creating a working relationship that will help children succeed academically. Following are some suggestions on how to build positive parent-teacher relationships.

As their children’s first teachers, parents and families can:

• Read together. Read with your children and let them see you and older children read. When adult family members read to their children or listen to them read on a regular basis, achievement improves. Take your children to the library to get a library card and help them find books to suit their interests and hobbies.
• Establish a family routine. Routines generally include time for completing homework, doing chores, eating meals together, and going to bed at an established time. These daily events are important to make life predictable for children and satisfying for all family members. Encourage your child’s efforts and be available for questions while she is engaged in academic work and spend time discussing what she has learned.
• Use television wisely. Limit the amount of time children spend watching television and help them choose appropriate programs for viewing. When chosen carefully, some TV programs can help increase interest in learning.
• Keep in touch with the school. Stay aware of what your children are learning, what their assignments are, and how they are doing. Make a point of visiting the school and talking with the teachers through parent/teacher conferences or family nights. If you can’t visit, schedule a telephone call to discuss your child’s progress.
• Offer praise and encouragement. Parents and families play an important role in influencing a child’s confidence and motivation to become a successful learner. Encourage them to complete assignments and introduce them to outside experiences that will enhance their self-confidence and broaden their interests.

Family and school represent the primary environments in which young children grow and develop, and good schools value parental involvement. The foundation for good parent-teacher relationships is frequent and open communication, mutual respect and a clear understanding of what is best for each individual child.

How to talk to your lids about the earthquake in Haiti?

How to Talk to Your Kids about the Earthquake in Haiti

Posted by Kristen on January 18, 2010 at 9:58 AM in Kids Around the World

We have all been riveted to the television. I'll admit there are moments when I thought I should turn it off but I could not.

How do you talk to your children about Haiti? You are the parent and you know your children. Most parents have a good idea about how much their children can and should see of the news.

Be proactive. In our house, we decided to see what we could do to help 900 children in the process of being adopted by U.S. citizens that are now in orphanages in Haiti. This is close to our hearts because we have dear friends living in Haiti and working with Heartline Ministries and World Wide Village who have already adopted two children and are in the process of helping family members adopt two more children.

We contacted all of our elected representatives and then started a Facebook page explaining to others how they can contact their members of Congress about getting humanitarian paroles for these 900 children so they can come to the United States to live with families that already know them and love them. It took only 10 minutes and we believe it will change the lives of 900 children. It won't help everyone in Haiti but it's a start. It is something you could do with your children today that will provide a tangible result. We watched seven Haitian children get off a plane last night in Kansas City. Was it a result of our letters? We will probably never know. My kids think it was because of them and that's all that matters to me.

Find a worthy cause and give. There are the big names for donation such as the Red Cross and the Bush Clinton Haiti Fund, but there are some lesser known charities that are doing great work helping the Haitian people. We like World Vision because you get a chance to have a "say" in where your money goes. You can ask that your money go provide PUR water packets, a family survival pack or even have your money go to shipping the much needed supplies. Your children have an opportunity to visually see how your money is helping.

Find out what you can do in your area to help Haiti. Right now there are lots of areas having relief drives, collecting infant formula, tents, tarps, clothing and lots more. Check out your local news station and newspaper to find them in your area. Having your child pick out the items helps them feel included in serving those who need the most help.

Show your child where Haiti is on a map. There are great resources for teaching your kids about the country of Haiti, about how earthquakes happen and what you can do to prepare for a natural disaster yourself.

Photo by the great Troy Livesay. Godspeed.

How does reading develop taste buds?

How does reading develop taste buds?

January 21, 2010

Author: Graham Scharf

Reading is like eating
The food that a child eats in the early years of life has a profound effect on the range and flavor of foods he will explore and enjoy later in life. Some Americans are amazed at young Indian children eating a spicy curry - precisely because their own taste buds were not developed in the same way. What is normal to them is not normal to young Indian children. The early experiences of both Americans and Indians (and all of us!) shape our palates.

Food and Books
If, in the early years of life, a child develops a taste only for sweet things, he may well resist eating other foods that are good for him. His taste buds have been shaped in way that affects his nutrition and health. In a similar way, if a child is exposed only to "junk books" (to say nothing at all of other media) in early life, it may be difficult later on to sink his teeth into more substantial books. In both cases, a child's palate is significantly influenced by his diet. Gladys Hunt captures it beautifully:

“Reading develops the taste buds of the mind as children learn to savor what is seen, heard, and experienced and fit these into some kind of worthwhile framework.” (Honey for a Child's Heart, p21)

A child who is frequently "fed" delightful, beautiful books will find that they not only fit in a worthwhile framework, they help to create the contours of that framework.

Bee Wise, Immunize!